I don't know about you but...
Though I’ve been a perfectionist for as long as I can remember,
I didn’t always call it by that name.
I was simply a high achiever.
Someone with high standards and lofty expectations.
Slightly anxious, but isn’t everyone?
A results-driven, detail-oriented, ambitious, admirable woman on the outside looking in.
I lived with an unshakable level of misery,
no matter how much I accomplished.
Over 13 years ago, I began my CBT therapy training after earning my Psychology degree, and imposter syndrome hit me HARD.
I kept waiting for someone to tell me they'd made a mistake about accepting me onto the course 🙄.
I was passionate about the training, but the anxiety was real, and my perfectionism soared to new heights as I questioned if I was really good enough.
When I started as an actual therapist, I constantly bounced between wanting to do so much for my clients, because it was IMPORTANT, but also feeling like I was learning something brand new and couldn’t possibly be very good at it.
I crumbled beneath the pressure and found myself in constant self-criticism, self-doubt, overthinking, procrastination, never feeling like I was good enough or doing enough or reaching my potential.
But truthfully, I thought:
How can I POSSIBLY be a perfectionist if I’m nowhere near perfect?
Truth is...
I'm Natalie
And my mind COULD BE a total disaster zone if I never learned to handle and harness my own perfectionism.
I’m a therapist. I’m a twin toddler mum. I was late-diagnosed with ADHD. I’m running my own biz.
And I’m still able to manage the shit out of my perfectionism.
I know what it's like to REALLY struggle with anxiety and now I barely get anxious - and when I do I know how to handle it.
That’s why I’m so damn passionate about helping other self-proclaimed (or even reluctantly-identified) perfectionists realise that the only answer for them isn’t to OVERCOME their perfectionism. But to learn to handle it and harness it in a way that helps them remain who they are while having a better daily experience because they’re no longer at war with their mind.
And if I can do it? With ALL those odds stacked against me that I mentioned above? There’s SO much hope for you as well, my friend.
My life is above average.
I live in the glorious countryside of Hertfordshire with my twin toddlers, and we can see horses in the field out my bedroom window. It is CHAOS. But we love it.
We have Minnie, our golden toy cockapoo, who sleeps in my bed like a human with head on the pillow and body under the duvet. I take her for a daily mindful lunch time walk to regulate my nervous system and ground myself in gratitude in the midst of all the craziness of life and business.
I roll from mum mode into work mode / therapist mode / biz owner mode and then back into mum mode. And I love it that way.
I start my working day usually with multiple drinks on the go - juice, smoothie, water, matcha or chai latte. Usually exhausted come 7pm once I've done the girls' bedtime and I get straight into my pyjamas, make up off, contacts out, and glasses on like a grandma. But I adore the feeling of it.
I use drop off and pick up from our childminder like a mini commute or reset - obvs have a great song blaring out on repeat to get that dopamine boost!
I’m a huge fan of all things self-care, cycle syncing, non-toxic living, biohacking etc. Because what perfectionist isn’t?!
I don’t want you to miss it simply because you can’t find peace in your own head and daily experience.
So let’s change that, yeah?
Might I say even bordering on perfect?
At least for me and my little family, it is.
I think YOUR life is most likely above average, too.
Can I be your therapist?
Want to see if we vibe?
When I first started therapy, I was terrified to work with perfectionists. I mean, we have HIGH STANDARDS, don’t we?! But after going through my own healing journey, they’ve become some of my favourite clients. Especially high-achieving, perfectionistic women can have a real shit time going on in their heads despite everything looking cool and collected on the surface. And that can make life feel downright unbearable sometimes.
I’m here to help you make friends with your perfectionism, overcome your anxiety, and finally feel at home with your true self… at least most of the time.
Book in a therapy appointment
I send out a weekly Diary of a Perfectionist newsletter, and I’d love for you to be on the list. This newsletter is my effort to normalise the experiences of perfectionism, show how I’m managing them in my own life, or at the very least show you what I would tell a client in my situation.
My hope is that it will help you feel seen and understood while also giving you a glimpse into how we see things in my corner of the world. Sound like something that would make you actually want to OPEN your email instead of avoiding it?
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