
Did you know that perfectionism isn’t actually a mental health disorder, it’s a personality trait? But like all personality traits it can sometimes become toxic. Unhealthy perfectionism (sometimes referred to as maladaptive perfectionism) can lead to significant distress and impairment in various areas of your life. In this blog post, we’ll delve into what unhealthy perfectionism is, common symptoms, and effective treatment options including Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT).
What is Perfectionism?
Perfectionism can be characterised by the relentless striving for extremely high standards, mainly for yourself but sometimes others too. It involves judging your self-worth based largely on your ability to strive for and achieve such unrelenting standards, which leaves you feeling pretty rubbish if you don’t reach your goals.
Perfectionists often experience negative consequences of setting such demanding standards, yet they continue to go for them despite the huge cost to them. It’s no surprise then that perfectionism can be a risk factor for developing mental health problems, such as OCD and eating disorders.
Signs of Perfectionism
Have you ever found yourself wondering ‘do I have perfectionism?’. Here are the most common unhealthy perfectionism symptoms I see in my clients:
- Unrelenting high standards and pushing yourself really hard to meet your goals. And sometimes raising standards because you think they’re too easy.
- Focusing on what you haven’t achieved rather than what you have achieved. Often falling into self-criticism and feeling like a failure.
- Judging yourself on your ability to achieve high standards. And repeatedly checking how well you’re doing at meeting your standards (e.g. comparing performance with others).
- Other people describing you as a perfectionist, perhaps because you struggle to relax or you try to meet your standards even if it means missing out on things.
- Avoiding things in case you fail. And often getting stuck with procrastination because of an all-or-nothing approach to everything you do (e.g. ‘it’s got to be perfect otherwise it’s rubbish’).
Perfectionism Treatment
Healthy perfectionism doesn’t need treating, but unhealthy perfectionism certainly does! Fortunately there’s several effective talking therapies available:
- Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT): CBT is considered the gold standard treatment for perfectionism. It helps you identify and challenge maladaptive thought patterns and perfectionistic behaviours.
- Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT): CFT is an excellent treatment option for perfectionists as it’s highly effective in tackling self-criticism and shame.
- Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT): MBCT helps you to learn how to respond rather than react to your unrealistic standards as a perfectionist.
What is the Best Therapy for Overcoming Perfectionism?
CBT is usually the first-line treatment recommended, but the best therapy for your perfectionism will depend on your unique problems and goals! From my experience as a specialist in therapy for perfectionists, it’s a combination of CBT, Compassion-Focused Therapy, and Mindfulness, that is most effective.
The best therapy for overcoming your perfectionism would also include other factors such as;
- Working with a therapist who has a lot of experience in this area.
- Working with a therapist that you feel comfortable with.
- Working with a therapist who can understand the difficulties related to being a perfectionist.
How to Overcome Perfectionism with CBT
CBT has been shown to be effective in treating unhealthy perfectionism. And once you have been able to successfully shift your perfectionism from the unhealthy/maladaptive range to the healthy/adaptive range, you can focus on maintenance. Learning how to manage your perfectionism properly is key to living a full and happy life as a perfectionist.
Key components of CBT for perfectionism includes:
- Psycho-education: Learning about the nature of perfectionism, its causes, and treatment options.
- Formulation: Understanding how your perfectionism developed, how it presents itself, and what maintains the unhealthy parts.
- CBT Tools: Designed to reduce unhelpful perfectionistic thinking and behaviours. Adjusting rigid rules and negative core beliefs. Developing tools and techniques to overcome procrastination, overthinking, and self-doubt.
- Relapse Prevention: Putting together a plan at the end of therapy to help you continue progressing towards your goals and to minimise any setbacks.
How can CBT for Perfectionism Help?
CBT offers hope and relief that you can feel good enough and reach your goals as a perfectionist. Here are some of the therapy benefits my perfectionist clients find most powerful:
- Stopping self-criticism and being kind and compassionate instead
- Learning how to shift from unhealthy perfectionism to healthy
- Getting over imposter syndrome and finally believing that you are worthy
- Breaking bad habits and learning how to stop falling into the burnout trap
- Overcoming all-or-nothing thinking and being able to find more balance
- Learning how to stop procrastinating and putting things off
If you or someone you know is struggling with perfectionism, consider reaching out to a qualified therapist who can provide support and effective treatment. With the right help and support, it is possible to overcome unhealthy perfectionism and live a life free from the underlying fears of failure and not being good enough.
Find Out More
I’ve successfully helped hundreds of perfectionists transform their perfectionism from unhealthy to healthy using my unique formula of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Mindfulness (MBCT) and Compassion-Focused Therapy. If you’re a looking for a BABCP Accredited Senior CBT Therapist who specialises in perfectionism, you can book an appointment here.
Useful Links
- What CBT is and How it Actually Works
- Wondering if You’re a Perfectionist?
- How to Beat Unhealthy Perfectionism
Want an honest look into my experiences as a perfectionist and the actionable steps I take to navigate it and make positive changes? Subscribe to The Diary of a Perfectionist.
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