5 Ways to Beat Unhealthy Perfectionism

If you read my recent post, Wondering if You’re a Perfectionist?, and decided you probably are, you might be wondering what to do about it. As I’ve said before, there’s a marked difference between healthy perfectionism and unhealthy perfectionism. Rather than simply working hard to achieve their goals, the latter group strives for flawlessness. They fixate on their imperfections, attempt to control situations, and can be highly critical of themselves and others. Relentlessly striving for extremely high standards that are personally demanding and often unreasonable can have very negative consequences. The good news is all of us are capable of change. Here are five ways to beat unhealthy perfectionism… 

1. Practice Mindfulness

Noticing and becoming more aware of your perfectionistic tendencies is the first step towards overcoming them. Mindfulness is ‘awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgementally’. Being mindful helps us train our attention and prevent our minds from wandering, allowing us to notice things we usually wouldn’t. It can take a while to master, but mindfulness is a simple practice with numerous benefits. For more information, read A Beginner’s Guide to Mindfulness.

2. Develop Some Practical Strategies

Perfectionism often shows up in the form of procrastination. Tackling this habit can help you stop perfectionism in its tracks. Here are a few strategies you can try:

• Set time limits to do a piece of work or complete a task

• Get the worst task out of the way or build momentum by ticking off an easy task first

• Plan to work on something for just five minutes and then see if you can do another five and so on

• Figure out what time of day you’re most productive and where i.e., in your office, kitchen or a coffee shop

• Plan rewards for after you’ve completed the task

3. Remember ‘Done is Better Than Perfect’

Sheryl Sandberg’s wise words are a great mantra to live by. It’s also worth noting your version of ‘done’ is probably excellent in everyone else’s eyes! I know it can be hard to relax your standards, so try to see it as an experiment. Be curious about what happens when you allow yourself to be ‘good enough’ rather than perfect.

4. Work on Your Self-Esteem 

Building self-worth plays an essential role in overcoming unhealthy perfectionism. If your self-esteem is overly reliant on your ability to achieve, it can be helpful to broaden your interests and develop other ways of feeling good about yourself. You want to reach a point where your self-worth is about more than simply striving for and achieving high standards. Therapy can be a big help in this area. I speak not only as a Therapist, but from personal experience as a fellow perfectionist.

5. Develop Self-Compassion 

‘Self-compassion means being gentle, kind and understanding with yourself; accepting that you are not perfect; and understanding that there is potential for learning and growth in every mistake you make.’

(Neff, 2003)

So much of perfectionism is characterised by self-criticism. Learning to love yourself and direct kindness inwards is the best antidote. Self-compassion requires hard work and effort, but it’s fundamental to healing. This article from PositivePsychology.com includes eight techniques and tips to help you get started. 

Find Out More

If you’re a perfectionist looking for a BABCP Accredited Senior CBT Therapist who specialises in perfectionism you can book an appointment here.

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