Are You a Perfectionist?

What is a Perfectionist?

Perfectionism includes ‘perfectionistic concerns’ and ‘perfectionistic strivings’. Perfectionistic strivings are things like striving for achievement and can be linked to positive outcomes such as self-efficacy. Perfectionistic concerns are things like self-criticism and are associated with anxiety, depression and eating disorders.

These two distinct categories reveal the difference between healthy perfectionism and unhealthy perfectionism. When we focus on the positive aspects of being a perfectionist, we’re usually thinking about the healthy/adaptive perfectionism.

Rather than simply working hard to achieve their goals, unhealthy perfectionists strive for flawlessness. They fixate on their imperfections, attempt to control situations, and can be highly critical of themselves and others. As a result, they tend to achieve less and stress more than high achievers.

A perfectionist is also someone who:

Relentlessly strives for extremely high standards that are personally demanding and often unreasonable.
Judges their self-worth based largely on their ability to strive for and achieve such unrelenting standards.
Experiences negative consequences of setting such demanding standards yet continues to go for them despite the huge cost to them.

During a training on perfectionism with Professor Roz Shafran, I found it really helpful to learn about research identifying five types of perfectionists. These are:

1. The Driven Academic Achiever - someone who must always achieve 100% without fail.

2. The Risk Evader — someone who exhibits an all-or-nothing approach and lacks the confidence to try new things.

3. The Aggravated Accuracy Assessor — someone who must achieve exactness and is fixated on the ‘re-dos’.

4. The Controlling Image Manager — someone who wants to be and be seen as perfect.

5. The Procrastinating Perfectionist — someone who is paralysed by fears and self-doubts that impair their ability to start or finish work.

In the past, I definitely bounced between both number one and number three. Oh, the joys of perfectionism!

Are You a Perfectionist?

A few things to look out for:

Unrelenting high standards
Pushing yourself really hard to meet your goals
Focusing on what you haven’t achieved rather than what you have achieved
Self-criticism and feeling like a failure
Raising standards because you think they’re too easy
Judging yourself on the basis of your ability to achieve high standards
Repeatedly checking how well you’re doing at meeting your standards (i.e. comparing performance with others)
Other people describing you as a perfectionist
Trying to meet your standards even if it means missing out on things
Avoiding things in case you fail
Procrastination
Struggling to relax

You should also keep an eye out for some tell-tale cognitive biases. Cognitive biases, or ‘unhelpful thinking styles’ as I like to call them, are ways our thoughts can become negatively biased. They happen automatically, often without our awareness, but can have a huge impact on how we feel. In turn, this can affect what we do, or what we don’t do. The most common ones I see in my perfectionist clients are ‘shoulds and musts’ and ‘black and white thinking’. Things like ‘I should always get 100%’, ‘I must never fail’ and ‘if it’s not perfect, then it’s rubbish.’

Find Out More

If you’re looking for a BABCP Accredited Senior CBT Therapist who specialises in perfectionism, you can book an appointment here.

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