Ever wondered if your high standards are actually holding you back?
If you’re here, you’re probably starting to realise that your perfectionism might be getting in the way of actually enjoying your life.
Finding the right perfectionism treatment is crucial if you’re struggling with the overwhelming anxiety that often comes with being a high-achiever. Did you know that perfectionism isn’t actually a mental health disorder? It’s a personality trait – and honestly, it’s one that can be pretty amazing when managed well. But like all personality traits, it can sometimes become toxic and work against you rather than for you.
Unhealthy perfectionism (sometimes called maladaptive perfectionism) can lead to significant distress and seriously impact various areas of your life. But here’s the thing – you don’t need to “recover” from being a perfectionist. You just need the right perfectionism treatment to learn how to harness it properly.
In this blog post, we’ll explore what unhealthy perfectionism looks like, common symptoms you might recognise in yourself, and effective perfectionism treatment options including Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT).
Understanding Perfectionism: What It Really Means
Perfectionism is characterized by relentless striving for extremely high standards – mainly for yourself, but sometimes for others too. It involves judging your self-worth based largely on your ability to strive for and achieve these unrelenting standards, which leaves you feeling pretty awful when you inevitably fall short.
Sound familiar?
As perfectionists, we often experience negative consequences from setting such demanding standards, yet we continue pursuing them despite the huge cost to our wellbeing and daily experience. It’s no surprise that perfectionism can be a risk factor for developing mental health challenges like anxiety, OCD, and eating disorders.
But here’s what I want you to know: your perfectionism isn’t the enemy. The anxiety and overwhelm that comes with it? That’s what we need to tackle.
Recognising Perfectionism Symptoms in Your Daily Life
Have you ever found yourself wondering, “Am I actually a perfectionist?” Here are the most common unhealthy perfectionism symptoms I see in my perfectionist clients:
The Never-Enough Mindset
- Setting unrelentingly high standards and pushing yourself incredibly hard to meet your goals
- Raising standards when you think they’re “too easy”
- Judging your entire self-worth on your ability to achieve these standards
The Achievement Trap
- Focusing obsessively on what you haven’t achieved rather than celebrating what you have
- Constantly comparing your performance with others
- Falling into harsh self-criticism and feeling like a failure when you don’t meet expectations
The All-or-Nothing Approach
- Getting completely stuck in procrastination because “it has to be perfect or it’s rubbish”
- Others describing you as someone who “can’t relax” or always trying to meet impossible standards
- Missing out on experiences because you’re too busy striving
- Avoiding challenges in case you fail
Does this sound like your internal world? If so, you’re definitely not alone, and there’s absolutely a way forward that doesn’t involve lowering your beautifully high standards.
Effective Perfectionism Treatment: What Actually Works
Here’s some great news: healthy perfectionism doesn’t need treating, but unhealthy perfectionism definitely does! And there are several incredibly effective perfectionism treatment approaches available:
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT): CBT is considered the gold standard treatment for perfectionism. It helps you identify and challenge those maladaptive thought patterns and perfectionistic behaviors that are making your life miserable.
Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT): This is an excellent treatment option for perfectionists because it’s highly effective in tackling that brutal self-criticism and shame we’re so good at.
Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT): MBCT helps you learn how to respond rather than react to your unrealistic standards as a perfectionist.
What’s the Best Perfectionism Treatment for You?
CBT is usually the first-line perfectionism treatment recommended, but honestly? The best perfectionism treatment for YOU will depend on your unique situation and goals.
From my experience as a therapist who specialises in perfectionism treatment, it’s actually a combination of CBT, Compassion-Focused Therapy, and Mindfulness that tends to be most effective.
The best perfectionism treatment would also include:
- Working with a therapist who has extensive experience in this specific area
- Working with someone you feel genuinely comfortable with
- Working with a therapist who truly understands the unique difficulties of being a high-achiever and perfectionist
Because let’s be honest – not all therapists “get” perfectionists, and that can make all the difference.
Perfectionism Treatment with Evidence-Based CBT
CBT has been proven effective as a perfectionism treatment through extensive research studies. Once you’ve successfully shifted your perfectionism from the unhealthy range to the healthy range, you can focus on maintenance and actually harnessing your perfectionist traits for good.
Learning how to manage your perfectionism properly through effective perfectionism treatment is absolutely key to living a full and happy life as a perfectionist.
Key components of perfectionism treatment with CBT include:
Psycho-education: Understanding the nature of perfectionism, its causes, and treatment options (so you can stop feeling like something is fundamentally wrong with you).
Formulation: Getting clear on how your perfectionism developed, how it shows up in your life, and what’s maintaining the unhealthy parts.
CBT Tools: Specifically designed to reduce unhelpful perfectionistic thinking and behaviors. This includes adjusting rigid rules, challenging negative core beliefs, and developing practical tools to overcome procrastination, overthinking, and self-doubt.
Relapse Prevention: Creating a solid plan at the end of therapy to help you continue progressing toward your goals and minimize any setbacks.
How CBT for Perfectionism Can Transform Your Life
CBT offers genuine hope and relief that you can feel good enough AND reach your ambitious goals as a perfectionist. Here are some of the most powerful benefits my perfectionist clients experience:
- Finally stopping that brutal self-criticism and learning to be kind and compassionate with yourself instead
- Shifting from unhealthy perfectionism to healthy without losing who you are
- Getting over imposter syndrome and actually believing that you are worthy and capable
- Breaking those exhausting burnout patterns and learning sustainable ways to achieve
- Overcoming all-or-nothing thinking and finding genuine balance in your life
- Learning how to stop procrastinating and actually getting things done without the pressure
The bottom line? You can absolutely learn to manage your perfectionism in a way that works FOR you, not against you.
Ready to Transform Your Relationship with Perfectionism?
If you’re struggling with perfectionism symptoms and tired of them controlling your daily experience, consider reaching out for support. With the right perfectionism treatment, it’s absolutely possible to shift from unhealthy perfectionism to healthy perfectionism – and live a life where you’re no longer at war with your own mind.
Want to explore working together? I’ve successfully helped hundreds of perfectionists transform their relationship with perfectionism using my unique combination of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Mindfulness (MBCT), and Compassion-Focused Therapy. As a BABCP Accredited Senior CBT Therapist who specialises in perfectionism, I’d love to support you on this journey.
Book your initial therapy appointment here →
Or if you’re ready to dive straight into learning practical tools, check out my Safely Imperfect program – an 8-week live group program designed specifically for high-achieving women who want to feel safer being imperfect.
Learn more about Safely Imperfect →
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